wink     ;)

tbrookerobbins:

When living with a chronic illness, sometime’s you:

find yourself constantly lying to everyone. When someone asks how you are, it’s always “I’m fine….” or “good”. Sometimes it’s the only thing you feel you can do because you’re sick of repeating the same things over and over, especially when majority of the time you get a lot of nothing out of that explanation. Simply because most people just don’t know what it’s like, or know what you have even is.

Someone asks how your pain is, over time, again, like I mentioned above you start automatically responding with pretty good or fine. Why is this? Because you honestly don’t know. You’ve gotten so use to having pain the first place that whenever you do experience it you don’t really know HOW BAD it actually is anymore. Most pain that we experience, that would otherwise normally send anyone else down to floor screaming has become somewhat tolerable in many senses with a few exceptions at times, of course. How sad is that though? To not be able to accurately tell someone how bad your pain is because you’ve gotten use to it. No one should ever have to get use to that kind of pain, ever. But we do it….every single day of our lives.

(Source: mylifewithlupus)

randomkumquats:

When you are here the rest of the world melts away. Even in the most crowded places you are the only noise echoing in my head. No rattled scraps of conversation. No “can I take your order” or “do you need help with that.” No one calling my name. No one seeing my freefall. You hold me so close, so tight that I can feel nothing but your warmth runing through me. The blood rushing to my face. My heart racing. One hundred thirty beats per minute. It seems you only have eyes for me. Even when mine stray to the greener side of the fence. Yet you pull me back. Always. Say that my life is here now. In you. And I am safe here. In you. Not in them. You will never abandon me. Never leave me alone in the night. And you’re right. You have yet to leave me for a moment. Though others have. Many. Or few. I can’t remember anymore. Their faces barely call a memory from the black abyss of forgetfulness. I only remember you now. Only see you. From the moment I awaken in you to the moment I fall asleep wrapped in your embrace. Through our trips to the grocery store.  To the mall. To the doctors. You are always there. You will never ever leave me. And I hate you for it. 

(Source: rattataratti)